Chapter 21 - Here Comes Another Holiday

 "moo"

So, my seed that I fished out of the lake, the one that appeared to have horns... well, it has horns. It grew into what can only be described as a tiny cow head.  There is a tiny cow head growing out of the middle of my lawn!

I feel I should rid myself from it now but there is a side of me that just can't look away.  That just has to know.  Will it grow a body?  Will it walk about?  Can I .... milk it?!

In the time it took me to grow a cow head on the lawn, Summer has grown a whole new person.  Her little daughter Easter was born at home.  And in true Summer style she popped back to her usual skinny, svelte self instantly.  Cow.

But little Easter is a joy, she hardly ever cries and always has a faceful of smiles whenever anyone talks to her.

The Doc is still not sure about parenthood, I mean he is a elder after all.  Its the best he can do remembering how to dress and feed himself, let alone another person.  But he has given it his all, although I think he is finding it more tiring than he is letting on.

I hope it doesn't cause his work to suffer.

"Doctor, Doctor, I have trouble sleeping!"

"Lie closer to the edge of the bed.  You'll soon drop off."

Chapter 20 - Some Girls Have All The Luck

Summer has been doing sensationally badly at her job, even her boss has been on the phone saying pick it up or pack it up.  And as far as I can tell her aspiration in life is going nowhere.  The thing is it is not for her want of trying.  All she has to do is cook.  And cook she does.  All the time.  Everyday.  Every surface is covered in dishes and the fridge is looking well stocked!

I help out as much as I can with vegetables from the garden but I think it is the house itself.  It's just to small and not practical.  We need to do some remodelling.

 

 "Quit faking Pawl"

The first thing we really need is another bathroom.  With all these people, and Summer keep taking Inspirational showers, there is always a queue, or a leaking tap or just a general mess.

"This room makes me want to succeed..."

The next on the list is the kitchen and dining area.  There isn't even enough chairs for us all to sit down at the same time and it is hardly the 'heart of the home' that it should be.  But it's one heck of an expensive upgrade but if SUmmer doesn't start improving, our shot at a million is in the balance!

Luckily for us, we have a Doctor living with us now...

"I've just moved in and you want me to pay for what....?"

We let Summer broach the subject with the Doc, he's her conquest after all.  He didn't take it too well and after all, why would he?  He's only been with us a day and Summer hadn't fully explained the 'make a million' scheme to him.  In fact, as far as I gather, she hadn't explained it to him at all.

"What?  You didn't actually say 'No.'"

Turns out that Summer has more bottle than we ever gave the little airhead credit for!  She went ahead and remodelled the kitchen anyway.  It's HUGEMONGOUSIVE!  And pink.  A lot of pink.  More than I would probably have liked but she did say that she had actually held herself back...

Doc wasn't overly pleased but what could he do about it?  He can hardly tear it all down again.  And it appeared that Summer had further news that was to very much take his mind off the kitchen problem.

"So...apparantly I'm pregnant."

Chapter 19 - It Needs A Little Something

"Today I will succeed!"

I love my garden, as you know.  But lately I have been feeling like it needs something more.  Something big.  Something sentient and dangerous.

I have been gaining a lot of skills from these books that I have recently purchased about gardening.  I got them secondhand from simBay, bit moth-eaten but what do you expect.  But the most interesting thing in them was a small piece of paper, a newspaper clipping, tucked inside the dust-cover.  It spoke about a magical seed that would grow into a large and beautiful plant.  It told how the seed was not easy to come by and the plant was not easy to grow.  It also said something near the bottom about man-eating and grow at your peril.  But the magical bit sounds cool right!

"Shhhhwwwziiinnng...... splip"

The article said that the only known seed had been thrown away into a secret location and that this place (pictured below) would never be disclosed!  Well, I knew where it was immediately and set off.

When I got there I used my troublingly hidden fishing rod and within about 2 hours of fishing I had secured a small wooden box.  Inside I found a black and white seed.  It reminded me of a cow.  What a thought?!  What if I grow a cow!? LMAO!

"I got it!! The magical...ewww....ewwww...it's all slimey!"

I took it home and dumped it on the lawn as I really, really needed to pee!  After my de-watering I went back to it and planted it properly.  Gave it a little water and sang it a little song.  I wonder what it will be like?

"Are those....horns?"

Chapter 18 - Summer Get's Down to It

 

 "These new X-Ray cameras are great!"

Tobias' birthday is fast approaching and we decided that the only possible way to celebrate was with a Weanie Roast!  We bought a new fire pit, some delightful seats, which we eventually shifted out the way as no one used them and they were getting in the road. 

Half way through the party someone said that they wanted to challenge no less than three people to a game of horseshoes.  Luckily we had signed up to Simazon Online's Instant Delivery Service.  (Actually it was a free trial that we had forgotten to cancel and now they've taken money out our account but we can't get a refund cos we knew to cancel it..blah...blah!)  So I quickly ordered one and BOOM there it was!  Thank goodness no one was standing in the way when it arrived! 

 

"Nice benches!  So Rustic!  We were going to get the same thing.  Come join me on the grass."

Tobias even joined in his own party!  How did he get out of his room?  We don't know.  I nipped off for a bit of a fishing trip (more about that later) and when I got back he was in the living room watching TV and eating cereal.  I checked his room but everything was the same. hmmm...

But I guess if there is anytime to leave your room through osmosis it's on your birthday.

 

"It's not a roast unless you roast three dogs.  No, only three.... We've about twenty guests.  Why do you ask?" 

We told stories, three of them. Roasted hotdogs, three times no less, and let me tell you that took nearly the WHOLE party!  What are those dogs made of?  And marshmallows, again three times.  I only remember thanking one person for coming which seems a bit rude of me.  We discussed thowing logs on the fire.  Threw logs on the fire.  And generally hung out at.. the fire!

Whatever we did we must have done it well becasue the second that everyone left, rather abruptly I thought (was it something I said?), a letter arrived telling us we had won the Weanie Roast and here was a chess table made out of a tree stump.  Well how about that?!  Shame there's no matching chairs and mine just make it look hideous... but still, yay!

At this party however, someone had another plan up her sleeve.  Summer had spotted a guest she liked the look of.  She donned her bikini and set about her task.  I have to hand it to the guy, usually Summer in a bikini has men queuing up.  Hell, I'D join the queue!  But this guy put up quite a fight.

I still to this day don't know how she pulled it off.  Everything she said to him seemed to cause him distress and he would walk away.  But by the end of the party she had convinced him to move in!

And boy was he a good investment on her time.  He is a Doctor no less.  Level 7! (whatever that means).  I have heard rumours that he may have reached that position just by simply turning up and doing as he was told for his entire life (he's already an elder) but who cares!  Doctor's paycheck!

Summer is taking this simoleon plan and running with it!

"errmmm"

Chapter 17 - Happy Birthday!

"Carson"

Here is my beautiful boy Carson!  He grew up into an amzingly handsome boy don't you think? (definately takes after me!).  And his fashion sense....is....is... I. am. so. glad. that he follows his own path..

He wants to be a Whizz Kid (aren't they sweet, the cute names they come up for stuff) and who am I to stop him?  We got him a chess table for his birthday... that's what all the kids are after these days....isn't it?  I'm still a cool mum, right?

We threw him an amazing birthday party.  

Eliza Pancakes came!  That's right THE Eliza Pancakes!

You know...of Pancakes, Pancakes and Stack'em!  The big development agency.  Of course you know them!  They built that weird looking tower in SimCity.  The one that's covered in syrup...they had to put up a barrier after a couple of mailmen got stuck to it....in all the papers....no?....anyway... she came! 

I wrote a brand new song.  I still can't get promoted though. I'm trying, but at the moment all of my million simoleons are coming through the ancient art of sponging! 

"I don't care for cake.  Unless it's BEEF CAKE!!! ugghhhh!"

Another guest to the party was long time party crasher Don Lothario.  He came in with his usual levels of bravado, pick up lines and "legend in his own lunchbreak" charm.  Seriously?  At a kids party Don?  

This time it was Summer who 'took one for the team'.  She took him into the kitchen, out of harms way, but in the end she succombed the way we all do when talking to Don.

The man is still an ass.

Chapter 16 - Morals? Ethics? Cash!

Tobias is getting stranger by the day.  To be honest he is scary to live with.  He wanders around the house muttering about Parsley, occassionally stopping to glance quickly to the top corner of the room before shuffling on.

He spends most of his time in his bedroom.  He even installed a toilet, shower and sink in there.

Yesterday I caught he dragging a huge box in there.  I offered to help but he didn't seem to hear me.

He spends his days painting.  Most are crazy non-sensical images.  But when a masterpiece appears it is breath-taking.

"I call it 'Need More Light'"

One of his pieces was so amazing that I took it, while he was out with his parsley plants, to the local art gallery.  They were amazed at the quality and when they told me how much it was worth....  I realised that our Tobias could be a great asset in our quest for a million.

When I returned I had formulated a plan.  It wasn't nice.  It wasn't right.  But it was worth a shot.  I waited till Tobias went to bed.  Then I locked the door.  Locked him in.  He would be safe in there.  He could paint and not have to worry about, whatever it was he kept seeing in the corner of the rooms in the rest of the house.

I went to bed.

In the morning I awoke, suddenly, and felt so guilty.  What had I done!?  My quest for a million had turned me into a monster.  I determined to go and unlock the door.  Then I became aware of what had awoken me.  A banging and some dragging of furniture... and a kind of *pop*.

Tobias must have realised he was locked in and got crazy!  Well, crazier..

I raced to his room desperate to explain, what if he had hurt himself?!

I couldn't help him.

The door was gone.  In it's place were three windows, like a viewing station into his room.  He had done it himself in the night.  The dragging was him pulling the bed up to the windows.

I called through the glass to him.

He muttered something like "Good Idea.  No distractions" and went back to his paints.

I can't help but feel responsible but what can I do.

Every so often he posts a painting through his window and we mail it to his collectors.  I believe he has quite a following now.  Everyone is talking about the paintings coming from 'the man in the box'.  Although most, I think, think it is a metaphor or something.

"Feeding time"

Chapter 15 - It's Called A What Now?

 

It has been a few days since Carson was born.  He is growing up fast.  I don't think that Pawl was expecting just how tiring it is being a parent.  Or how painful it would be on his neck!

 "Stick that potato on there..."

I have been experimenting on my plants in the garden mostly.  I am still on maternity leave, which although this gives me a great opportunity to expand my mind is not helping me expand my bank balance!

However, asking Summer to move in was definitely a great idea! She brought with her a lot of cash (yay!) and also some much needed femininity.  It was getting a bit 'testoterone towers' in here!

 "Is she STILL here!?  Doesn't she have a home of her own!?"

I think Pawl was a little shocked at how quickly Summer arrived however.  He's always said he likes her, but only in small doses.  I asked him once why that was.  He said that she was so sickly sweet he could feel himself getting cavities just talking to her!

I guess her arrival was kind of sudden now I come to think about it.  One second I am asking her to 'Move In' and it was almost as if the minute she said yes... BAM!  She's in.  But I guess we don't have much time to mess around here! 

"No, I live HERE now! It's going to be awesome, we'll bake cookies and sing songs..."

We had a bit of disposable income after Summer moving in, and even after making a bedroom for Summer we had enough sitting around that we felt we should do some more home improvements.  But we had no idea what to do.

Pawl came home with the craziest idea. Apparently its the latest thing and EVERYONE is doing it.  But it sounds insane to me.  Here's the gist..

Basically you pay a huge amount of money for some sweaty guy to come and dig a hole in your garden.  Line it with some distasteful tiling and then fill it with water...

Yeah.  I know right?  Basically you pay for a puddle.

But here's the best bit.  You know what you do with it.... Get this... You strip down to your underwear and get in it....

...

...

...

...

And apparently people are going crazy for this crap.

I said it was dumb.

He said it was the 'in thing'.  'That it's what EVERYONE was asking for.'

After pointing out that as I wasn't asking for it EVERYONE can't have been asking for it; I said not on my land plot!

He said I'd love it.

It's....ok

Chapter 14 - Well Hello!

So, I have some news.  BIG news.  And it is all about the make a million challenge I set myself, that is why we are all here after all.  I explained the whole situation about the make a million simoleons to Summer.  She thought it was ludicrous and told me I was insane and how was that ever going to be possible.

"You can help me" I said.

She looked at me blankly

 

"You're serious?"

"I am deadly serious!" I replied.  "As serious as a fat kid in with an Ice Cream cone!  As serious as a midget in a nudist colony! What... too far?  But seriously, I'm seriously serious about this!"

I explain that if she moved in all her earnings could go into our household pot and we could get to that million a lot sooner!  The more I explained the more she came around to the idea and agreed to move in.  

Then we laughed and laughed.  She says such funny things.

"I'm going to work my butt off all day and bring back the cash and give it to you!"

"It's like some weird cult!"

"Ho Ho Haaaa!"

"You're a cult master and this is your commune!"

"Haaa Haa Ha!!  Wait...wait.... It'd be... WAIT!  Haaa Haaa!  It'd be like... like I was your slave!!  Ha Ha Ha!!"

"Pretty much"

"Oh."

We were just starting to decide on how this was all going to work.  I mean the house was not ready for another person moving in.

I told her I knew this great firm of house remodellers who had these magic gloves.  She didn't believe me that using them they could just grab the walls and stretch your house into any old wacky shape!  But it's true.  I swear.

But then the day turned really crazy..

"I think your waters just broke!"

"Nah! It's just the tap, no one round here does A THING!"

And so little Carson was born.  The hospital experience was traumatic but I've been told that by many people.  Since the Carnival Game Manufacturers bought it over its just not quite as .... errmm..'natural' anymore.  But little Carson is a perfect bundle of cooing, sleeping, crying and, at times, pretty smelly, perfection!

"Well, Hello!"

He's wonderful.  I could just watch him all day long.  Just holding him while he sleeps brings a kind of peace to me, like we are the only two in the world.  My perfect little baby.  I want to be with him all the time...

...except when I'm tired.  Then.. then he's daddy's problem!

Chapter 13 - Some Days You Gotta Dance

 

"Soooo.... How about them sports.. errm... events?"

For some reason Pawl decided to host a party.  We have no idea why or what was the reasoning behind it.  And it was a complete flop.  Only one person turned up and none of us actually knew who he was.  We all assumed someone else had invited him.

"This is getting sad"

 In the end I just couldn't take it anymore.  Something has to be done.  Pawl has started telling this poor guy (whoever he is) his "wanna see my giant wart?  It's right on my..." story.  The guy was seriously mortified and I think had started to realise that he was probably at the wrong party!  In fact he felt the need to warn Pawl that he's watching him and not to try anything funny!

I have to step in.  I quickly call anyone I can think of and ask them over.  It's short notice so our available guest list is pretty, well, lame.  But at least we actually know these people.  And WhoeverHeIs enjoyed not being the centre of Pawl's attention anymore.

"My party.  It is epic!"

Pawl didn't seem to mind that the guests where not even close to the people that he had invited himself.  He just basked in the glory of his epic party.  Much as I love Pawl, I am beginning to doubt the quality of stuff between his ears...

I decided to escape from the craziness and head down to the park.  I love going there and watching the weirdos.. I mean enjoying the fresh air!  But seriously, so...many...nutters!  And they are always down the park!  And people tell me not to be paranoid but I KNOW they are following me!  I go to the park and there is like, maybe, one other person there and suddenly, as soon as I appear, it's like they kind of 'fade' into existence all around me!  I'm telling you, it's creepy!

Anyway I used the opportunity to do a bit of busking (which I don't mind telling you always brings out the real loonies!) but this whole life mission is to make a million right!  And we seem to be lost in pointless parties and piles of dirty dishes at the moment. Lets get this back on track.

"Ahhh feel thaaaa BURN!!!  Play it mumma!"

"1...2....3......BOOO!!!"

"Finally someone normal!"