Wednesday 28 October 2015

Chapter 12 - Parsley


"That is one ugly painting"

Pregnancy is taking its toll.  I am lumbering about like an elephant with a peg leg.  My back hurts.  I'm tired.  And I can no longer, visually, confirm that I am wearing matching shoes.  But luckily it appears that my clothes are super stretchy as I haven't had to buy new ones at all!

"Wouldn't it be drier if you shut the water off first?"

Summer is coming over regularly to help me out and the boys have finally pulled their fingers out and started helping around the house.  Although their DIY skills leave a lot to be desired, but the good intentions are there.


"Must....Eat!  EAAAATTTT!"
I am currently consuming my body weight in food on a daily basis and am becoming more convinced that I am to give birth to a fully grown adult!  The house is still a mess, even with the boys "help", some things have been sitting out on the sides for weeks now, thing is no one else seems to notice.

"If it was you, would you fry up your placenta or just have them throw it away?"

"Summer?"

I really think it is time that I had this baby, it seems much longer than three days, must be at least a week I've had to go through this.  And to be honest I think people are getting a bit sick of all my baby talk and planning.  I know they are trying but they do seem to be less enthusiastic than a couple of days ago.  I know I am also being a rubbish partner, but I am seriously just not in the mood!  Pawl is being great about it though and has taken a liking to having baths.

"!"

Tobias.... well we don't see much of Tobias lately.  He spends most of his time in his room with his painting.  And parsley.  And his paintings of parsley.

We are worried.

"Mmmmm herby!"


Wednesday 21 October 2015

Chapter 11 - Rock, Fat Girl, Rock!



"I call this one Mary Had A Little Shotgun"

So, pregnant as I was I decided that I shouldn't sit on my laurels.  I decided to get myself a hobby.  After trying roller blading, cordless bungee jumping and scuba diving, I settled on the guitar.  And to be honest I am actually enjoying it.

"Twang!  Wait! I'll get it! Twang!  Nope!  Hang On!"

I have been playing at every opportunity, even to walls!  I am slowly improving and soon I will be a mega star!  Oh yeah!  I am totally owning this self improvement crap!

"Dolly says Heres a Stinker"

Another strange thing seems to be happening around the house.  Perhaps its just my hormones playing up but everywhere I look there are dirty dishes!  Does no one in this house wash up!  I believe this statement to be true as yesterday I caught Pawl eating cereal from a jug because, apparently, there were no clean dishes.  Umm.... I can think of a great solution to that Einstien!


"I see your slobbiness!"

"On the BOOKSHELF!!!"


"Seriously!? And what is this creepy doll doing in my house!"


"Suds"

In the end there was only one thing for it.  Wash them myself.  I am fat and sweaty and my bottom is turning triangular but still I have to wash up.  It sucks to be me right now.  But after my whirlwind of cleanliness through the house I am satisfied that we are no longer under threat from homegrown deadly lifeforms so I decide to reward myself with a trip out to the garden.  I do love my little garden.  I don't know whats growing here, the packets didn't have labels but I am sure they are going to be amazing!

"Oh look, this ones got legs!"