Friday, 10 October 2014

Chapter 2 - Making My Mooch

"This will be the death of these shoes."

Well, I've been at this whole make a million thing for a couple of days now and to be honest it's a bit of a drag! I decided that I would continue fishing and plant some plants that I could harvest and sell.  They are doing pretty well but I have a problem.

I smell
"One more potato towards my million..."

There is pretty much no denying it now.  I am unable to find a public lavatory and as a result have... well, basically, peed myself on at least three occasions now.  I'm not proud of it.  I will say no more about it.  But it stands there as fact for all to see.  And it is going to take a lot of veggies to get me enough dough to buy a shower!  I need to get my mooch on.  There are some beautiful houses on this street, there is bound to be someone willing to help a girl out.

 "Hello? Suckers?"

How about that wonderful property just across the road from me.  These look like a likely pair of moocher prey.  Knock, knock.  It just opens.  There is no sign of anyone about, is the door on weights? Magnets?   Invisible butler?  Anyway I'll head in, I may as well make myself at home.  I really need to pee again.

Unfortunately for all involved the owner of the house, one Mrs Pancakes (once again, no joke here!) stops me to say hello just as I'm venturing to find that porcelain throne.  So, once again, I pee myself, right in her hallway.  I'm mortified, but she seems oddly pleased and whistles while she mops it up.  She says nothing more to me (hardly surprising really), so I head to find a bathroom.

"I can see my house from here!"

What I found was one of the most beautiful spare room I've ever seen.  I make myself at home.  After one amazing shower I borrow some PJs I find in a drawer and get myself some shut eye!  This'll beat that park bench any day!

"One more game and it's down to business."

Nap over!  I have been counting the simmies in my pocket and realise that, with the 2 Simmie piece I found behind the toilet, I have enough to pay the job finders fee!  Yay!  Luckily these people have a computer.  I head online and fill in my details.  After telling them my martial status, address, shoe size, favourite turnip recipe etc.  They give me the job I am most suitable for... I am going to be... downloading.... downloading.... Entertainer!!!  What!?  That's what I am destined to be!?  Oh geezz!!

"A fridge!  Gotta get me one of these!!"

I cannot believe it.  An entertainer.  I head downstairs and raid their fridge.  I've seen nothing of Mrs Pancakes since the whizz incident in the hallway.  Guess I should be glad of that, not a conversation I'm ever looking forward to having!  

Mmmmm... cereal.  Bran cereal.  It's called Plain Ol Bran and it very much lives up to its exciting name!  But it's food and it fills a hole.

As a newly discovered entertainer I am told I need to practice music or write jokes and I need some charisma!  Well, I have bags of that baby!  But my jokes and music skills leave a lot to be desired.  I think I am more of a musician, they must have an instrument somewhere in this palace of a house.  But after extensive searching... they don't.  Poop.  Looks like it's joke writing for me then...

"What do you call two robbers?      A pair of pants!!"
"No... what?... Wait that should be a pair of knickers... pair of knickers!!"

1 comment:

  1. sides hurt! Btw, I was eating my bowl of Plain Ol Bran while reading this :P I am so looking forward to more!