Thursday, 5 May 2016

Chapter 51 - Funny Man

It is apparently Comedy Night at the local Speak Easy and a couple of friends of mine said that I should go along and see if my Stand Up routine, well, stands up.  When we get there I can see by the outfits walking in the door that it is definitely Comedy Night.  Which makes me a little uneasy.  I am sporting such an on trend look that I am not sure that I will fit in at all.

"...and she said "That's what you call a plate of spam!"

The guys invited me down here to try out my stand up routine that I have been practicing.  But I'll admit I have been a little nervous about trying it in public.  Mainly because what I find funny seems to be an acquired taste.

I decided to try out a few of my best lines on the guys just to see what they thought.

"...Come on!  Laugh won't you!.."
"Don't get it!!?  What's not to get!?  Spam!  SPAM!!!"
I really wish I had tried my bad stuff, that way I wouldn't have felt so bad when the whole thing fell completely flat.  Flatter than a pancake under a fat man.

They just didn't seem to understand any of the jokes I was trying out.  Even my impressions were seriously missing the mark. 

I didn't understand it.  They had heard my stuff before.  They had laughed before.  They told me I should try it out in the real world.  And now suddenly it's not funny anymore.

Well, I thought it was all hilarious and they were the ones that had made me come down here.  So I was going to go through with it no matter what.

I had to wait my turn for the microphone.  There was a guy doing farm animal impressions working the crowd into a storm.  I have to admit his goose was very, very convincing.  In fact a little too convincing.  The blind chef who had been hanging around in the back with a potted tree actually started chasing him around muttering something about 'a nice orange sauce.'

Once the sound of confused yelling and honking had faded into the distance I stepped up to the mic and took a deep breath...

Everyone laughed heartily.

"I see many of you dressed for the evening..."
"Which is a relief cos I'd hate to see you naked."
There was one sim in particular that seemed to really get where I was coming from.  In the end there was only her in the audience.  So I let it rip with my good material.  The stuff I had kept up my sleeve for just such a scenario.

"So, a friend of mine opened a gym.  He asked if I could come around."
"I said isn't that how everyone first comes to a gym?"
She really seemed tickled by my tales and in the end as long as I have made one person happy then I think I have done enough.  I don't think I will ever have the way with words that my mother did but I hope that I have achieved something that would make her proud.  I made a person pee their pants laughing.  Every mother's dream for their son.

I met a pink haired girl there, she seemed to know my boys and I think I have seen her around the house a couple of times.  She really wasn't getting into the spirit of the night and kept going on and on about something political.  She kept saying that because I was in 'Business' this stuff should concern me.  But it doesn't.  I know where my office is.  I know where my desk is.  And I know how to turn on my computer.  And those three facts have stood me in good stead so far.

"But soft lavatory paper is every sim's Simian right!"
"Our bum's deserve more!"

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